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Writer's pictureBethann Garramon Merkle

A short list of what I'd read if I was trying to buy nothing while still changing my life


A photo of a shelf full of books. Titles include: Good and Mad; Like, Literally, Dude; Descended from a Travel-Worn Satchel; The Upanishads: She Had Some Horses; The Body Keeps the Score; The Prophet; Creative Struggle; Why Art; The Happiness Hypothesis; Deep Work; Range; The No Club; Essentials of Transdisciplinary Research; Happiness; The Art of Choosing; Burnout; The Happiness Project; The Gift; Thinking, Fast and Slow; Radical Hope; Our Souls at Night

You've probably received a deluge of Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and other buyyyyyyyyy thissssssss emails in the past week.


You likely also received a number of gift idea emails/newsletters, and maybe even a few commentaries on how to sustainably or locally capitalize on the moment...or even avoid buying anything.


Well, I've been pondering this whole situation, because my inbox is full of similar ads and commentaries.


But, I've also been thinking about it because I love giving gifts. I somewhat frequently (but quite randomly) send snail mail letters and/or little gifts throughout the year. For birthdays and year's end/new year's, I usually do a combination of homemade gifts (jams, mugs I've made, greeting cards with my artwork, etc.), along with little commercial goodies that strike my fancy and make me think of loved ones. (Think: stickers, books, body care items, candles, even earrings, chocolates, socks, etc., etc.) All year long, I "collect" these gifts, along with notes about who to give them to.


So, when the avalanche of emails hits in late November, telling me to "buy this, quick, it's on sale and will arrive in time for XYZ holiday!!!!", I'm usually totally finished collecting meaningful items for the year. I don't need those emails. But, I frequently wind up chatting with friends or family who are trying to tap those emails to get a deal, or, more often, to make some kind of difference in how they approach gift-giving.


This year, the difference in their experiences and mine led me to ponder how I might handle it if I was trying to shift how I do things without making any radical, expensive, time-intensive, or relationship/job-ending changes. Yes, I realize that's the premise of a book (or many!?!). But, honestly, I had a "happiness book" hobby for several years, so I have a serious list of books that could make that kind of difference in your thinking, habits, and relationships.


There are several I now recommend over and over, and some I return to with frequency. These books have had significant influence on my thinking, mindset, and habits. In case you're looking to provide someone with a recommendation, or to check something out from your local library, or if you see one in your neighborhood little free library (or support your local, independent bookstore!!!), in no particular order, here are some books you might want to read.


Books on happiness & the like that genuinely changed my thinking/life:

  • Happier Hour -- research + action woven into memoir of prof/mother.

  • Happiness is an Inside Job -- short, helpful take on mindfulness.

  • The Art of Happiness -- I reread this every year, not on a schedule, but at some point in the year.

  • The No Club -- cannot possibly recommend highly enough. Start here.

  • Do Nothing -- excellent history of compulsive/moral value of work in capitalist society + how to rethink/resist.

  • Deep Work -- although Newport comes from a place of significant privilege re controlling his work/personal schedules, his framing re how/why to prioritize our time is valuable.

  • Hope in the Dark -- important reminder that the arc of social change is long and not direct or inevitable, but that change is possible.

  • The Four Agreements -- touch of woo woo, but very helpful reframes if you're highly tuned to what others think of you and/or how you react to other people.

  • The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Study of Happiness -- one of my favs; would be my second read after The No Club if I were going to re-read this whole list.

  • Thinking, Fast and Slow -- this one is a super-dense read, but I really appreciated the insights into human behavior (and implications for my own).


Not-books that are also essential reading on the mindset/habits theme:




 

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